The King's Shilling

by Thomas Morton

The following were promoted, enlisted or assigned to a new berth:

Richards, Brevet Lieutenant General, Brigade of Horse Guards
Orczy, Colonel, Seventeenth Regiment of Light Dragoons
MacLeod, Lieutenant Colonel, Seventeenth Regiment of Light Dragoons
Sparrow, Rear Admiral, Royal Navy, HMS Fox
Lake, Master & Commander, Royal Navy, HMS Zebra

The following were mentioned in despatches:

Cantfield, Lieutenant Colonel, Coldstream Regiment of Foot Guards
MacLeod, Lieutenant Colonel, Seventeenth Regiment of Light Dragoons
Lawhead, Physician, First Regiment of Horse
Spendlove, Rear Admiral of the Blue, Royal Navy, HMS Argonaut
Quilp, Senior Post Captain, Royal Navy, HMS Argonaut
Dewhurst, Captain, Privateer Hydra

The following were criticised in despatches:

None

The following are in captivity:

Brown, Brigadier General, Brigade of Foot Guards
Lawhead, Physician, First Regiment of Horse

The following were killed in action:

None

The following are to be honoured by His Majesty:

None

Roxton Surprises Spanish Frigate while Rounding Cape Horn!

By Mister B Bigglesworth

HMS Fox under the very capable command of His Excellency the Marquess of Roxton sighted a Spanish frigate as she rounded Cape Horn. The Spaniard vessel of thirty-four guns, identified as Santa Perpetua by Mister Francis Westlake, suffered weather damage to her rigging but indulgent to trading blows with Fox. His Excellency dispensed with the customary exchange of broadsides. Instead, Lord Roxton rapidly closed distance to board the Dons!

Under the span of one hour, His Excellency gained mastery of the opposing vessel and accepted the sword of Capitan Carlos Nicolas de Fernandez y Martinez without the shedding of much blood. Again, His Excellency entrusted the prize ship to Mister Westlake as the vessels crossed the Pacific to reach Australia. After transporting Sir Joseph Banks safely to Botany Bay, Lord Roxton received despatches informing of His Excellency promotion to rear admiral.

Royal Navy Battles Spaniards off Gibraltar

By Mister B Bigglesworth

Lord Shropshire’s flagship prepared to weigh anchor at Gibraltar when a Spanish ship discharged her broad side on HMS Argonaut. The 74 gun San Joaquin sent her marines in order to pacify the badly damaged British warship. However, Sir Norbert Dontrasongle took the initiative by boarding the Spanish ship of the line. Forced to defend their vessel due to the Baronet of Ballaghnatrillick’s impetuous action, the Dons counterboarded and established a foothold on Argonaut.

Mister Edward Lake alerted his men to the situation and engaged the Spanish boarding party. While he easily killed one marine, a lieutenant of particular ferocity cut his sabre into Mr Lake’s body, then subdued the valiant youth with a nasty blow to the head. (Although, not particularly quite the heroic outcome expected in theatre, Lord Roxton’s pressing need for ships in Asia influenced the Admiralty to assign Mister Lake with command of HMS Zebra).

Teniente Carlos Neil Maher Núñez and his marines next headed for the ship’s wheel, and probably gained control of Argonaut if not for Lord Dudley’s presence at the helm. A marine private unceremoniously started the fight when he suddenly discharged his musket. The ball struck His Lordship in the right leg, but the earl remained standing despite sustaining another wound from said marine’s buttstock.

At the same time, Lord Dudley struck back with His Lordship’s cutlass, scoring hits to the man’s head that sent his soul to perdition. Throughout the battle, the Earl of Dudley dutifully kept the quarterdeck free of enemy presence, which allowed Lord Shropshire the opportunity to preserve His Lordship’s Flagship. For this reason, the Earl of Shropshire mentioned in Lord Dudley numerously in His Lordship’s despatches.

The Admiral of the Blue soon discovered the Spaniard commanding the boarding party and despatched him in two quick slashes. His subordinates immediately departed Argonaut rather than face Lord Shropshire’s steel. Alas for the battered flagship, her makeshift rudder prevented her from pursuing San Joaquin. (As a side note, Captain Weatherbee of the eighteen-gun Orestes audaciously attempted to prevent San Joaquin’s escape, but the larger ship’s seventy-four guns dissuaded him from further pursuit.)

Aboard the privateer Hydra, Sir Anthony Lloyd Dewhurst sailed to aid Argonaut, but the thirty-four-gun frigate Santa Marta challenged her by firing chain shot into Hydra’s canvas. Falling rigging presented the Dons with the perfect opportunity to board Sir Anthony’s vessel. The Baronet of Santa Rufina first gutted a green Spaniard before confronting a captain of His Catholic Majesty’s Spanish Marines.

Capitán Manolo Arturo Ortega Ramirez saluted Sir Anthony before plunging his blade into the baronet’s chest. Fortunately, the point of Don Manolo’s sword missed Sir Anthony’s heart. However, the privateer captain lost to the caballero’s agility, as the Knight of the Golden Fleece easily avoided Sir Anthony’s cutlass.

While Sir Anthony’s prosthetic hand spared the clergyman a harmful cut to his leg, nothing blocked Don Manolo’s knee from impacting with the baronet’s loins. Pierced by another lunge to his breast, Sir Anthony countered with two quick slashes that finally ended Don Manolo brilliant career. (Although Hydra captured a worthy a prize and Sir Anthony earnt mention in despatch, the privateer failed to rally to her flagship’s defense.)

British Army Besieges Albany

By Mister Redmond Barry

Sir Maximillian Morris Richards oversaw constructions of siege works investing the capital of the rebellious colony of New York. Once Sir Maximillian ascertained that no force intended to impede his plans, through reconnoitering by the Brigade of Horse Guards, he immediately carried out his duty by ordering the Brigade of Foot Guards to capture Albany.

Upon receiving Sir Maximillian’s despatch, the Duke of Manhattan dismounted to lead the assault on the main rebel redoubt. Although his men easily overcame the American fortification, His Grace met a recalcitrant American ensign that refused to relinquish his sword. The junior officer of the First New York Regiment assaulted the duke first (injuring His Grace in the left arm). Unfortunately, His Grace’s fencing skills stood little chance against the youth’s remarkable prowess. Ensign Joppe easily parried lunge after lunge and severely injured His Grace to the point where the Duke of Manhattan reluctantly offered His Grace’s smallsword to the triumphant juvenile.

The Duke of Manhattan’s capture, however adverse to the Brigade of Foot Guards’ morale, presented Lord Armagh with an opportunity to demonstrate His Lordship’s talent as Colonel of the Coldstream Regiment of Foot Guards. The earl ascended the enemy defences, determined to rescue His Lordship’s Commanding Officer. Though Lord Armagh and Sir Thomas Cantfield secured the contested fortification (Sir Thomas even received mention in despatch from the Duke of Skye for his part in the undertaking) His Lordship lost sight of His Grace the Duke of Manhattan during the bloody battle.

Lord Salisbury then received intelligence that the rebels planned to smuggle the Duke of Manhattan from the besieged capital. His Excellency chose Lord Carter to lead the rescue mission. Unfortunately for the Royal Regiment of Horse Guards, the Americans flew swiftly from their pursuers, leaving the Blues with nothing but dust for their valiant effort.

Undeterred by their initial failure, Major Julian Cossington pressed forward, but met further resistance. The 1st Legionary Corps, coming upon the Royal Regiment of Horse Guards by surprise, insisted that Cossington and his men stay and cross sabres rather than pursue the party desperately attempting to escape with the abducted Duke of Manhattan. Even though Major Cossington only sustained superficial damage to his armour, the dragoons proved effective in thwarting his attempt to save His Grace from captivity.

The Viscount of Chesterleigh and the First Regiment of Life Guards undertook a similar enterprise that ended in similar fashion when the Second Continental Light Dragoons dashed Lord Chesterleigh’s prospects of rescuing the Duke of Manhattan. His Grace’s captors rode farther from the viscount as His Lordship fought dragoon after dragoon with His Lordship’s bloody sabre. Once again, the Americans dispersed and left Horse Guards’ with nothing to show for their efforts.

Remaining in the relative safety of a field hospital, Sir Arthur Dent attended to injured with extraordinary proficiency, aided by the renowned medical knowledge of Lord Quincy Carter of Le Havre. Sir Quentin Lee Dart also prudently remained away from the fighting, which permitted his injuries to finally heal after almost a year of recuperation.

West Point Retaken by Americans!

By Mister Redmond Barry

Major Allan Phillip Rochambeau, British Commandant of West Point, failed to properly shore up the breastworks against artillery. As a result of his incompetence, the Rhode Island Regiment sent wave after wave of men to seize the contested fortress. Major Rochambeau led his dragoons to a most prominent gap in the defenses. There, he crossed swords with an American ensign assigned to lead the forlorn hope. Initially, the youth Marcus Freeman of Providence dodged Rochambeau’s blows and plunged his smallsword into his opponent on many occasions. Unfortunately for Ensign Freeman, Rochambeau landed a blow that severed his right leg.

A lieutenant from the same battalion commanded the second wave and inaugurated his challenge by kneeing Rochambeau in the groin. Before Lieutenant West drove his sword into Major Rochambeau’s belly (who lay prone as a result of the traitor’s low blow), West Point’s commandant cut the rebel’s sword arm at the elbow. Having repelled two violent attacks upon his post, Major Rochambeau employed a pause in the battle to recover his wounded and to attend to his own injuries.

Sir Richard Attenborough then took personal charge of the situation – calling the 17th Dragoons to assist their comrades. In his resolution to assist the wounded, Doctor Charles Lawhead wandered into the front lines. He thus participated in the defense during several attacks.

In the first assault, Dr Lawhead easily disposed of two rebels who assailed his person while attending a British soldier who lost his leg. As the First New Jersey sent a second detachment to overcome the defenders, the First Horse’s Regimental Surgeon faced a sergeant toughened by years of campaigning for the American cause. This insurrectionist disarmed Dr Lawhead, then bayoneted the physician for slaying two of his comrades. (Fortunately, some Colonial officers noticed the wounded, but still living surgeon and instructed their physicians to address Dr Lawhead’s injuries).

The certitude of enemy victory left Sir Duncan MacLeod no recourse but to abandon West Point to the victorious Americans. He organised a withdrawal worthy of mention by Sir Richard Attenborough and a promotion by Colonel Perceval Orczy (who personally took command of the rear guard).

Major Archibald Montgomerie, under orders not to allow the American to repossess the fortress, remained behind to demolish West Point. The Americans seized the powder magazine before Montgomerie’s party and foiled attempts by the major to secure the vital explosives. Later rejoining the Dragoon Brigade, Montgomerie assisted the many the physicians on hand who busily treated the wounded.

Parliament Approves Constabulary Bill by Narrow Margin

By Miss Bridget Jones

The House of Commons saw behaviour far below the expectations of gentlemen when Doctor Simon Creed (Member of Parliament from Westminster Abbey) reintroduced the oft ill spoken Constabulary Bill! Once again, the Whigs mustered their forces, determined to see its final, absolute demise. Mister Charles James Fox, Member of Parliament for Westminster and Dr Creed’s rhetorical rival, obviously tired of debating the issue expostulated:

Need we waste more time with this horrific bill? No, sirs! We shall not expend more effort forensically dissecting this odious corpse!

In uproarious approbation, the Whigs drowned the Tory objections until compelled to silence in order to hear Doctor Creed’s rebuttal:

Gentlemen, in the past few months we have seen the extremes brought about by lawlessness and chaos. On one hand, we have the soldiers enforcing the will of the King, much to the distress of the civilian populace. There is nothing wrong with a little discipline, however, our loyal soldiers cannot and should not be expected to provide law and order in our society.

Our good friend, Mr Fox speaks of dissecting a corpse, yet isn't it he who opposed the bill without proper consideration for the consequences. Had you been a man of science and medicine, my dear sir, I fear your patient will be most challenged not to face the Reaper. Let us not use ignorance as an excuse to forsake our duties to God and King. Let your hearts guide your conscience and approve this bill.

Throughout his address, Whigs continually jeered at Dr Creed. At the end of his response to Mister Fox, the renowned Edmund Burke rose to address his fellow Members of Parliament:

While I object to some points of Dr Creed’s argument, I am in agreement with principles that guide his advocacy of the bill in question. I prefer a constabulary accountable to governance as opposed to an army controlled by an ambitious Minister. Therefore, honorable gentlemen, let us vote in favor of the Constabulary Bill, and end this discussion once and for all!

With Mister Burke’s (although guarded) approval of the Constabulary Bill, the Tories passed the measure by a slim margin. Of course, Mr Burke’s address of Dr Creed following the debate spawned rumours of Abbey’s MP crossing benches to the Whigs. Indeed, the topic of their discussion may add credence to such speculations as Mister Burke apparently extended Dr Creed an invitation to join him at Brooke’s.

Prime Minister Addresses Parliament

By Mister William Prince-Smith

The Lords and Gentlemen at Westminster witnessed a rarity at the end of May when Lord Nottingham deemed it proper to disengage from His Lordship’s numerous social occasions in order to address Parliament. I myself am shocked when the Prime Minister (who apparently remained ignorant of England’s latest defeats) praised the ongoing progress of the War against Britannia’s Foes. Let me declare to the readers of the London Times that I am more surprised by the reaction of the men who govern our country; for they responded to the Prime Minister’s words with approbation!

Table of Contents

The Social Register
The Army List
The Navy List
The Church Standings

Queen Charlotte’s Birthday Ball at St James’s Palace

By Jane, Lady Tennyson

The Countess of Abbingdon, a Jezebel of the highest order, attended Her Majesty Queen Charlotte’s thirty-eighth birthday at St. James’s Palace with Doctor Simon Creed. London’s self-appointed legislator of law and order shunned the ballroom and contrived a tale of falling from his horse as an excuse. Indeed, the Member of Parliament for Westminster Abbey appeared with a cane and succeeded in beguiling the Royal Court with his thespian craft.

Simon Creed, invigorated by his artful ruse, limped towards Her Majesty and presented the Queen of Great Britain and Ireland with a gown laced with fabric Dr Creed personally purloined from some hapless inhabitant of Palma de Mallorca. The Queen accepted the gift, quite mesmerised by his tale of rescuing British soldiers during the Count of Flanders’ conquest of Mallorca.

His Grace the Duke of Montrose and Her Highness the Princess Augusta Sophia again made use of the ballroom at Buckingham Palace. (Although one may err in thinking that the couple practised poorly if you chanced to see them dancing that night.) Gratefully, I commend His Lordship the Earl of Nottingham for at least learning enough of the minuet to not repeat past errors. However, the Prime Minister forgot to present a gift to Her Majesty the Queen and thus gave Charlotte the Princess Royal another cause for shame as Her Royal Highness retired in tears!

Sir Thomas and Lady Joselyn Carville mesmerised St James with their conversation. Fascinated by their endless observations, Her Majesty the Queen forgave them for appearing at Court without tribute and made no comment about the couple’s preoccupation with the ballroom. Lord Burton and Miss Gwendolyn Fairfax also engaged in this most common sin among today’s gentlemen and their ladies. In contrast to His Lordship’s Secretary, Lord Burton lacked the dexterity necessary to awe the court, or more importantly, Her Majesty the Queen (whose displeasure caused terrible damage to the earl’s reputation).

Princess Elizabeth’s Birthday Ball at St. James’s Palace

By Jane, Lady Tennyson

Understandably, a youth like Her Royal Highness the Princess Elizabeth grew tired of hearing Doctor Simon Creed regaling his martial exploits for the second time this month. (Even if the erstwhile physician of the 1st Regiment of Life Guards spoke of his experiences fighting American Rebels instead of Spanish Dons.) Upon receiving the Member of Parliament from Westminster Abbey’s unusual gift of a German water clock, Princess Elizabeth amiably spoke of the present and promised to place it in a ‘most appropriate location.’

Lord Nottingham seemed to excel this night; for His Lordship’s dancing showed great proficiency. However, I confess that His Lordship’s singular defect (that of choosing the same attire for the second week in a row) may be forgiven since the Prime Minister acted with such civility and apologised so profusely for also forgetting Princess Elizabeth’s birthday gift. (I suppose the last error increased the sum of His Lordship’s frailties to two instead of my previous estimation of one.)

However, Her Royal Highness gave no quarter to Sir Thomas Carville or Lady Joselyn Carville for presenting themselves without proper homage. In a most memorable incident, Princess Elizabeth commented that Sir Thomas’s poor dancing clearly showed his guilt over his impropriety. Then exalting Lord Burton as an example of gentility, Her Royal Highness advised the Lord Chancellor to ‘acquire a new secretary!’

Lady Abbingdon’s Grand Ball at Abbingdon Abbey

By Miss Bridget Jones

Lara Croft, Countess of Abbingdon decided upon an early celebration of Her Ladyship’s birthday with a grand ball at Her Ladyship’s estate in Abbingdon. I am pleased to relate to the readers that Doctor Simon Creed acted much better than at the first time he encountered the countess at the Earl of Shropshire festivities at Shrewsbury Castle. However, since I must be candid with my readers, the Member of Parliament for Westminster Abbey seemed disheveled (as if he recently parted from sexual congress with Her Ladyship prior to the soiree).

Indeed, rumours surely to damn this gentleman’s reputation suggest that he caused the Countess of Abbingdon’s pregnancy at the behest of Her Ladyship! The man famed for his champion racehorses proved himself quite the breeding stud with his latest conquest in the bed chambre. (Of course, these delicious bits of gossip served more entertainment for the guest than Dr Creed’s tiresome war stories).

Of course, the Duke of Montrose and Princess Augusta Sophia prefer to dance rather than rut and I must contradict Lady Tennyson’s observations once more as that infirm old maid failed to perceive the grace in the couple’s minuets. On the other hand, the licentious Countess of Abbingdon (lacking the morality that restrain ladies of Christian upbringing) invited many of the gentlemen present to take a turn with Her Ladyship in a manner sure to blush the inhabitants of Sodom and Gomorrah.

Lord Burton Proposes to Gwendolyn Fairfax

By Jane, Lady Tennyson

The Earl of Burton spent the last week of May persuading Miss Gwendolyn Fairfax to accept His Lordship’s proposal of marriage. Since the Lord Chancellor lacked qualities objectionable to a lady of good family, Miss Fairfax readily consented to Lord Burton offer and promptly communicated the joyous tidings to her closest confidantes, which made the news common knowledge by the end of the evening.

On Medicine

Being a history of the development of the Medical Art

By Edward Gough, Earl of Burton

Book One

Earliest Legacy

It is entirely relevant to the study of medicine to note the origins of earlier beliefs and practices, many of which still influence medicine at this time. Some have been discredited; others have come under serious speculation, whereas others still influence medicine.

In some respects, modern practice can trace a direct descent from Hippocrates and the Hippocratic school of thought in these matters. However, much of our knowledge of earlier periods we receive from Dioscorides. In his treatise, Materia Medica, Pedamius Dioscorides describes the plants and their uses in medicine. This text is still regarded as an authoritative work for those apothecaries and physicians who use herbal and natural remedies. Many of the practical herbal treatments remain in use to this day, although varying in degree and frequency. Aloes, belladonna, cannabis, mandragora, mustard, poppy, castor oil, and senna are some examples. Wormwood is still widely used in the treatment of digestive disorders most especially.

Greek Medicine

The Greeks drew upon these practices a theory of illness that influences medicine today. The philosopher and physician Emedocles was a leading member of the Pythagorean School and was first to propose the doctrine that all matter consists of four elements: earth, fire, air, and water. He attributed to these elements the four primary qualities of dryness, heat, cold, and wetness. Let us imagine each element being a corner of a square and each quality being that line connecting the corners.

Earth___dry____Fire____heat____Air____cold_____Water____wet____Earth

The body has four fluids, or humours, corresponding to the four elements; these are black bile (earth), yellow bile (fire), blood (air), and phlegm (water). Aristotle added the four temperaments - melancholic, choleric, sanguine, and phlegmatic – which corresponded to the four humors. Thus, an individual’s physical and mental state depends upon the balance of these humours. This system is still considered the foundation of much of the diagnosis and treatment of illness. As with much of Aristotle’s writing, it is logical yet closed, leaving little room for investigation outside the system while allowing a breath of interpretation within the system.

Of all Greek physicians, Hippocrates is the great figure towering over all others. Ironically, the Hippocratic Corpus cannot be traced directly to him, but rather the school that developed around his teaching. Much, if not all, that has come down to us have survived by copying, translation, and editing of the later (with the possibility that through this extensive process there have been errors, omissions, and additions through centuries of reproductions).

However, it is evident that both medicine and surgery were combined, and that both practices were divorced from theology. The latter obviously diverges from the earliest practices and continues the Greek model of disease being assumed to be a natural and not supernatural causation (attributed to an imbalance of humors in the body). Surgery was generally confined to the treatment of wounds; procedures were followed in the setting of broken bones and the dislocation of the joints. In these matters one is instructed to use clean or boiled water for both instruments and cleansing of the effected areas and use clean or new linen. Significantly, this extends to the practitioner as well, because one is instructed to have ‘clean hands and nails’.

Importantly for us, Hippocrates defines the nature of medical study, the responsibility of the physician, and the ethics of the art of medicine. This extends beyond the Hippocratic Oath that binds all physicians and includes many aphorisms to provide guidance. Perhaps one of the most important of these is the following quotation:

Life is short, art is long, opportunity fugitive, experimenting dangerous, reasoning difficult: it is necessary not only to do oneself what is right, but also to be seconded by the patient, by those who attend him, by external circumstances.

Another aspect of the Hippocratic Corpus is the accurate and detailed case reports of diseases, many of which can be recognized today quite easily. They include, among others, pneumonia, pulmonary tuberculosis, puerperal fever, epilepsy, mumps, dysentery, and malarial fever. Until recently, there have been no comparable records that approach the expanse and exactitude of this compilation.

Herbal medicine was employed in the treatment of ailments but great emphasis was placed upon maintenance of good health by employing moderation in food, drink, exercise, and baths. Nature was considered the healer and the physician’s duty was to facilitate the healing of the body through natural means. In this respect, ‘cutting for the stone,’ meaning the surgical extraction of stones of the kidney, was to be avoided whenever possible.

This prohibition did not include venesection. (The theory being that bloodletting would remove more of the humour in excess.) This assumption is widely accepted to this day. Yet one must conclude that all humours are of equal fluidity and density in order to accept this theory.

Following Hippocrates, the School of Alexandria became predominant and led to a separation of the art of medicine. Dogmatists, emphasising on anatomy, were primarily concerned with the mechanics of the body and sought to understand how the whole functioned. The Empiricists tried to comprehend those unseen forces that propelled bodily function and the metaphysical causes of life itself. The Methodist, to which we owe a great debt because of their preservation of the Hippocratic tradition, disseminated methods throughout the Mediterranean that placed great importance on the welfare of the patient.

Roman Medicine

Until the introduction of Greek medicine, the Romans appear to have little more than the methods cited in earlier periods, chiefly sacrifice to the appropriate god and some practical treatment. Even after Greek ideas and methods were introduced and accepted, the tradition of sacrifice and prayer persisted in all classes of society. Some have suggested that these actions had more political significance because of the structure of the Republic and Empire. Not even the most educated nobleman would forego these rites because religion was so ingrained in the social and political fabric of life. Thus the process of adopting Greek theory was slow in all but the area of public health. The result was the eventual establishment of pure water supplies, efficient drainage, and strict regulations regarding the disposal of refuse.

Similar rules were present in the military. The establishment of hospitals began at strategic military locations and later civilian hospitals were established in Rome and her provinces. Physicians and surgeons received salary with the free care to all that applied. This, in part, was viable because of the system of taxation. Such an approach was not a charitable gesture, but had military and financial reasons, Both the aged and infirm were certainly cared for, but the health of the military, merchants, and workers was vital to Roman power.

Galen of Pergamon, the most important physician known to us, studied in Alexandria before settling in Rome in the second century. He saved much of the Hippocratic School’s writings by incorporating the older works into his own numerous treatises. His views on anatomy, physiology, and medicine have been translated and are accepted nearly without question to the present day. They are required reading at every university of note.

He believed in bloodletting to realign balance within the body, but also in the use of strong purgatives peculiar to each humour. His association with the compounds of theriac and mithradatum, each initially used as antidotes, is particular to him. The formulae may have consisted of as many as sixty elements for the former and forty for the latter. Presently, both are still prescribed for plague in modified formulae of much fewer ingredients, though common to both is castorem, the secretion of the beaver. The efficacy of both substances in their varied forms has become a subject of increasing controversy because only anecdotal evidence in available.