The King's Shilling

by Thomas Morton

The following were promoted, enlisted or assigned to a new berth:

Roxton, Vice Admiral of the White, Royal Navy
Cahill, Lieutenant Colonel, 4th Regiment of Foot

The following were mentioned in despatches:

Roxton, Vice Admiral of White, Indian Squadron, Royal Navy
Weatherbee, Senior Post Captain, HMS Fox
Cahill, Lieutenant Colonel, 4th Regiment of Foot
Prentquin, Ship's Surgeon, Indian Squadron, Royal Navy, Santa Perpetua

The following were criticised in despatches:

None

The following are in captivity:

None

The following were killed in action:

None

The following are to be honoured by His Majesty:

Weatherbee, Senior Post Captain, Indian Squadron, Royal Navy, Baron of Castillo de Real Felipe
Cahill, Lieutenant Colonel, 4th Regiment of Foot, Knight Companion of the Most Honourable Military Order of the Bath

Duke of Carlisle Captures Lima!

By By Mister Barry Bigglesworth

Spain has yet another reason to hate El Tiburón this month! Direct from taking the Spanish treasure fleet, the Duke of Carlisle directed his squadron south to once again strike at the heart of Spanish power! Within one night, Lima and its port of Callao have fallen into his grasp!

With another show of the cunning and tactical ability we have come to expect from the duke, he brought his squadron into the port on a cloudy night. The second wave of ship’s boats were well on their way to shore when one of the fortresses defending the harbor, the Castillo de Real Felipe, managed to rouse itself and its batteries opened fire. Thinking quickly, Sir Jonah Weatherbee, captain of HMS Fox, manoeuvred his vessel into the line of fire, protecting the boats while trading shots with the fortress’ battery. The fight between Fox and the fortress was fierce and bloody, each giving as good as they got! They fought each other to a standstill until the troops which had already landed managed to silence the guns. Though Fox had taken considerable damage, the ship’s sacrifice had protected the marines and sailors going ashore and for his actions Sir Jonah was mentioned in despatches and made Baron of Castillo de Real Felipe by King George.

During the firefight there was yet another notable case of heroism. Dr. Morris Prentquin, surgeon aboard the Duke of Carlisle’s flagship Santa Perpetua, was given leave to take a boat to Fox in order to assist the wounded and dying aboard the ship while it was being savaged by the Spanish guns. Putting himself in harm’s way in order to reach the vessel, he continued to put himself at risk while he continually put himself in the line of fire while rendering aid and comfort to the wounded and dying aboard Fox. For his actions, which should set an example for all military surgeons, Dr. Prentquin was mentioned prominently in despatches.

The Castillo de Real Felipe proved the only real obstacle to the landing. Callao was pacified quickly and the assembled marines and sailors made the short march to the colonial capitol of Lima. Lima was a city unprepared. The uprising begun by Tupac Amaru II had drawn the bulk of the Viceroy’s troops away. Even though Tupac Amaru II had been captured and executed in May of 1781, resistance continued. The remnants of the uprising were still being quelled in the south, though La Paz had already fallen to the Spanish troops. The fighting in the capital was brief and Duke of Carlisle’s battle hardened men brushed aside the city’s defenders and the viceroy’s guards. Agustín de Jáuregui y Aldecoa, the Spanish Viceroy of Peru surrendered the city to the Duke of Carlisle before dawn. The duke assured the viceroy that the gallant resistance of the troops at hand had preserved their honour and further guaranteed the safety of the viceroy, his family, the notables, as well as the various religious persons and Church properties within the city.

Lima and the port of Callao were then sacked and all shipping in the port deemed unworthy of capture was put to the torch. Before departing, the duke dined with viceroy and his family aboard Santa Perpetua, offering every courtesy. The two commanders got along quite amiably, and the Duke of Carlisle returned possession of Lima to the viceroy and departed.

Lieutenant Colonel Charles Somerset Remains Fighting in the Colonies

By Mister Redmond Barry

The First Regiment of Life Guards, under the command of Lieutenant Colonel Charles Somerset continues to counter the endeavours of the American Rebels. In his fifth month of service in the field, Lt Colonel Somerset encountered little of the enemy, as both prepare to weather the oncoming winter season.

Captain Tam O’Shanter Serves in the Colonies

By Mister Redmond Barry

Captain Tam O’Shanter of the 17th Regiment of Light Dragoons recently volunteered his services for the defense of the American Colonies. Whilst commanding a company of the 105th Regiment of Foot, Captain O’Shanter fought against a detachment of Rebels and drove them from the battlefield with surprising skill. (Unfortunately, no superior officer mentioned his gallantry in dispatches.)

Major Alfred Cahill Earns Distinction in America!

By Mister Redmond Barry

Unfortunately, I must report the injury of one of the many brave men fighting in the American Colonies. Major Alfred Cahill, in command of the Fourth Regiment of Foot, sustained wounds suffered from rebel artillery. His readiness to remain and rally his men to repel an assault made by the enemy earned his promotion to lieutenant colonel and mention in dispatch. Moreover, the heroism of his actions allowed the inclusion of Sir Alfred’s name into Most Honourable Military Order of the Bath!

Lieutenant Francis Westlake Invests in the East India Company

By Mister Duncan Struan

In seeking the post of maritime judge in the East India Company, which the shareholders rejected on account of The Right Honourable Lieutenant Francis Westlake’s lack of connections, the Member of Parliament for Gatton and Old Sarum instead received the opportunity to purchase 500 shares in the Company. Luckily for Mister Westlake, the investment proved immediately lucrative as he recouped the aforementioned expenditure in less than a week!

A Letter to the Editor by Mister Archibald Ernest Fortheringhay

Wonders upon wonders, with great sorrow one is obliged to comment on the appalling state of degradation that has engulfed the London Gazette. How this notable publication being once a pinnacle of respectability and information, has fallen afoul of innuendo and liable accusations and now seeks to delve into the seedier machinations or attempts at utter refuse by two of its alleged reporters; notably Miss Bridget Jones and Jane, Lady Tennyson. These alleged reporters now seek to publicise their slanted views of events, to the determent of certain personages of note. One would surmise that Miss Jones and Miss Tennyson delight in publicising the slightest faux pas others may have unwittingly made, or include the basest gossip they could learn or fabricate. Surely the Editor should realise the damage such articles do to the integrity of the Gazette, both literally and actions to redress comments made by Miss Jones and Tennyson.

Sir, towards this end one is obliged to puts quill to parchment for the purpose of seeking retraction of specific unsubstantiated comments contained in your publication. The specifics in question, attribute facets to one that are at best fanciful, in fact one would attribute them to the commentary delivered by a deranged imbiber in the height of a drunken stupor whilst in the midst episode, being both incredulous and absurd. These self proclaimed reporters have little concern for accuracy in their articles and would do the London Gazette far less injury to its reputation if they sought to clarify their comments with actuality rather than unfathomed supposition; having offered one of these of dispensers of foolishness an opportunity to obtain a definitive account of all events, they have undertaken to disseminate, alas this offer was not even acknowledged. Sir, may enquire if the policy of London Gazette, is not active employment of rumour mongers, charlatans and meanders confidence charades.

Princess Charlotte’s Birthday Ball, as Reported by Jane, Lady Tennyson

Not to the surprise of your narrator, Doctor Simon Creed escorted Lady Lara Croft the Countess of Abbingdon along with my misguided colleague, Miss Bridget Jones (who thought it prudent for her to also chronicle this event). While Doctor Creed acted according to the expectations demanded of one of his station, the fact that he brought his wife and mistress to the same occasion seemed a tad French to me!

Once this sham of a physician stepped onto the ballroom, a throng of impressionable ladies requested his name on their dance cards. Naturally, Dr Creed began with Lady Abbingdon, and then politely invited the ‘unescorted’ Miss Jones for the next round. Indeed, his minuet attracted the most undesirable sort of attention when Dr Creed accepted a chance to dance with the Duchess of Devonshire! Moreover, I spied a series of indecent gestures as the pair discussed the possibility of a medical appointment, which sounded more like an assignation: since the duchess discussed in length about Her Grace’s difficulties in bearing a child for the Duke of Devonshire!

If his misdeeds seem plentiful to you, my readers, then I beg to read no more; for Dr Simon Creed, Member of Parliament for Westminster, suddenly presented the Countess of Nottingham with a gift worthy of the Princess Royal: a thoroughbred mare from his prized stables. Indeed, Princess Charlotte remarked:

We do thank you, for this marvellous gift, Dr Creed…

Sir Richard Attenborough came next to present a gift to Princess Charlotte. After Doctor Simon Creed’s scandalous entrance, I am not surprised to find that Sir Richard decided to give the Countess of Nottingham a copy of Friedrich Schiller’s The Robbers! Considering the play’s content (full of theft and the sort of misdeeds a recently robbed princess may wish to forget) I am stunned that Lady Nottingham merely smiled and did not dismiss Sir Richard for his impertinence!

The Prime Minister then brought the celebration to a climax when His Lordship presented Princess Charlotte with a thousand red roses. Furthermore, after dancing with the Countess of Nottingham (along with a number of ladies impressed by Lord Nottingham’s dress and manners) Lord Nottingham announced the joyous news of Princess Charlotte’s pregnancy, which caused cheers throughout St James’s Palace!

The Earl of Armagh and His Lordship’s mistress (Miss Dorothea Chaplet) arrived rather late, but indeed remembered to gift Princess Charlotte with a tea service: a rather fashionable item to present to princesses these days, since the Princess Augusta Sophia also chose this particular set of silverware on behalf of Her Royal Highness and the Duke of Montrose!

However, the trivial matter of an earl accompanied his mistress seems unimportant when the Viscount of Chesterleigh arrived wounded by a highwayman in St James’s Park. Lord Chesterleigh, according to his report of the incident, suddenly faced the infamous Dennis Moore when the bandit blocked his way to St James’s Palace. Both Lord Chesterleigh and Mr Moore fired their pistols; and while the His Lordship waited for the brigand to press his attack, Mr Moore instead retreated from the valiant viscount (but not before he purloined Princes Charlotte’s birthday gift)!

On the other hand, the Duke of Manhattan and Miss Fiona Apple arrived unmolested by unwholesome footpads or fiendish highwaymen. In fact, Princess Charlotte seemed delighted by their gift of a crystal chess set from Prague. The Chancellor of the Exchequer then escorted His Grace’s mistress to dance in the ballroom where their minuet, and their well tailored clothes, charmed the celebrants.

His Excellency the Marquess of Salisbury and Miss Constance Heart also mesmerised those witnessing their superb dancing and the pair received approbation from envious admirers.

Finally, Lord Admiral Thomas Renders Spendlove, Lady Charity Canterfield Spendlove and Miss Katherine Anne Spendlove; appeared late to the ball due to their rather uncooperative present: a black Arabian stallion for The Princess Charlotte.

Lord and Lady Shropshire Host Party at Shrewsbury Castle

By Jane, Lady Tennyson

The Earl and Countess of Shropshire invited many to their party at Shrewsbury Castle. Unfortunately for the Lord Admiral and His Lordship’s consort, only Lieutenant Francis Westlake accepted the invitation. On the other hand, Miss Katherine Anne Spendlove viewed Mister Westlake’s arrival as an excellent opportunity to discuss politics, of all things, with the Member of Parliament from Gatton.

Dr Sebastien de Beauvoir Wins Hand of Miss Vanessa Kensington

By Miss Dale Arden

After disregarding Doctor Sebastien de Beauvoir in September, Miss Vanessa Kensington surprisingly elected to admit the aforementioned physician into her home. I suspect Miss Kensington required medical attention that made her previous prejudice inconsequential in light of her present dilemma.

The Courtship of Miss Jane Seymour by Messieurs Bernard Benson-Curraders and Charles Browne

By Miss Dale Arden

For a fortnight, Mr Charles Browne pursued martial ambitions, practising with the claymore and exercising to build strength, but then turned his attention to sating his appetite for meat at the Beefsteak Club during the third week of this month. He next focused on obtaining a mistress; Miss Jane Seymour seemed his likely target (and the gentlewoman accepted his courtship).

Unfortunately for Doctor Bernard Benson-Curraders, Miss Seymour’s sudden decision to entertain Mister Browne happened shortly before Dr Simon Creed’s party at Abbingdon Abbey. After the two gentlemen exchanged cards, Dr Benson-Curraders escorted Miss Seymour to Dr Creed’s Halloween celebration.

Intrigued by the affair, I decided to enquire about town, in order to ascertain a fuller understanding of the situation. Testimonies from disparate parties led me to the Beefsteak Club (where the staff confirmed seeing Miss Seymour with Dr Benson-Curraders on several occasions). Furthermore, I also acquire intelligence from an anonymous source that she saw Doctor Bernard Benson-Curraders at Miss Jane Seymour’s house around the beginning of this month.

Alas, a dreadful revelation unfolded before me as my informant suggested that Doctor Benson-Curraders stayed with Miss Seymour for days at a time. Indeed, her reluctance to part with Doctor Bernard Benson-Curraders (according to my confidante) may well be that she carries the doctor’s unborn child!

Table of Contents

The Social Register
The Army List
The Navy List
The Church Standings

The State Opening of Parliament as Witnessed by Miss Bridget Jones

I first wish to note of the wonderful manners exhibited by Dr Simon Creed during this year’s opening of Parliament. In contrasts to the many Members of Parliaments who jeered His Majesty, Dr Creed maintained a composure befitting a dutiful subject of the Crown. Furthermore, Dr Creed expressed approval when His Majesty stated:

We find the recent increase in highway robbery displeasing and encourage Our Subjects to pass laws in orders to address this important issue.

In addition, Dr Creed also supported King George when the Monarch spoke of His Majesty’s disappointment with regards to the situation in Hanover:

We command Our Subjects to liberate Our Domain of Hanover from the Count of Flanders…

However, in a decision that surprised many of those gathered at Westminster, the king added:

We furthermore task Thomas, Earl of Shropshire, with this grave duty and give His Lordship Our Most Humble Blessing in the execution of this honourable task.

Indeed, the entire peerage blanched when His Britannic Majesty included them in His Majesty’s address:

We kindly beseech Our Noble Subjects to contribute to this endeavour and compel them to encourage the levying of soldiers required for this great enterprise!

In voicing his concerns, pertaining to His Majesty’s Address to Parliament, Dr Simon Creed decided to express his worries as a loyal subject in that the proposition the soldiers levied for this campaign may be more loyal to their patrons than His Majesty.

Indeed, I heard rumours of Lieutenant Francis Westlake speaking with The Right Hounourable Charles James Fox (concerning Lt Westlake’s desire to join the Whigs). Of course, the Tories loathed losing an esteemed naval hero and The Right Honourable William Pitt supposedly offered Old Sarum to Westlake in order to maintain his allegiance. For the rather inexpensive sum of 3000 pounds, The Right Honourable Lieutenant Francis Westlake of the Royal Navy apparently appropriated two additional seats into his ever growing list of boroughs under his influence and expressed the following sentiment to his parliamentary peers:

On the other hand, comfortably seated in the back benches, the Earl of Burton stayed silent during the warm exchange between His Lordship’s party and the Loyal Opposition. Moreover, His Lordship seemed very amiable to all attendants, regardless of affiliation.

However, all felt compelled to silence when the Prime Minister asked to address Parliament. The Earl of Nottingham, citing the pregnancy of the Countess of Nottingham, desired to dismiss the accusations of His Lordship’s aspirations for the throne by resigning His Lordship’s position as Prime Minister and from public life in general at the beginning of November!

The commotion initiated by the aforementioned speech produced much rhetoric from both Whigs and Tories. Lord Nottingham’s allies urged His Lordship to name a successor while the Loyal Opposition called ‘Rottingham’ to dissolve the Government and called for a General Election. Fearing violence the Coldstream Regiment of Foot Guards sent a company to escort King George from Westminster. Of course, despite the embarrassment done to His Britannic Majesty, both Lords and Commoners elected to resume their argument and bring much shame to Parliament!

Among the most notable, for lack of action, the Earl of Armagh simply sat back as the commotion threatened to consume Westminster despite His Lordship’s position as Attorney General. Understandably, perhaps the Attorney General for Scotland considered the affair entirely outside of His Lordship’s jurisdiction.

The Chancellor of the Exchequer appeared conciliatory and urged all parties to resolve their difference in a more civilised fashion. Alas, civility and all forms polite manner seemed to have abandoned Westminster, abandoning her to the rude etiquette of the rapine barbarian.

Indeed, certain celebrities like the Lord Admiral Shropshire discouraged reconciliation when His Lordship spoke of the evils of Lord Nottingham’s government. While such criticisms seemed appropriate under normal circumstances, the earl’s rhetoric inflamed the mob zeal for destruction by justifying the deeds of these yahoos!

The Royal Society Banquet as Reported by Miss Bridget Jones

Although some may possess the opinion that a woman lacks the faculties to grasp science, I leave such judgments to others more capable than myself; who only desires to chronicle the event from a social perspective.

Firstly, I begin my article with Doctor Simon Creed, who recently returned from an arduous voyage from the Orient. Of course, Dr Creed came to this banquet to share his discoveries: artefacts dug up from the earth round Anatolia. Naturally, the learned men gathered for this occasion approved of his findings (and his tale of how he acquired such priceless antiquities).

Indeed, the audience marvelled at his extraordinary adventure: of his audience with a decadent Ottoman and his heroic defense of the expedition from a band of Anatolian bandits. Naturally, the Royal Society of London for the Improvement of Natural Knowledge unanimously approved Doctor Simon Creed’s membership and induced him to divulge more tales, which took a better part of the evening. Next, the Royal Society heard from Lieutenant General Sir Maximillian Morris Richards in regards to his latest submission, ‘Docile Bodies: The Need for Behavioural Discipline:’

This paper will present the case for the need for docile bodies to serve as soldiers in our armies. These docile men will react without hesitation and whose discipline is such that they respond immediately to any given command. In order to achieve this aim, it is my humble belief that a soldier is no longer a type of man but a lump of formless clay to be shaped in any manner necessary to form a highly trained unit of war. He is an inapt body, the machine required can be constructed; posture is gradually corrected; a calculated constrain runs slowly through each part of the body, mastering it, making it pliable, ready at all times, turning silently into the automatism of habit; in short, one has got rid of the peasant and given him the air of the soldier. Recruits become used to holding their heads high and erect; to standing to upright, without bending the back, to sticking out the belly, throwing out the chest and throwing back the shoulders; and, to help them acquire the habit, they are given this position while standing against a wall in such a way that the heels, the thighs, the waist and the shoulders touch it, as also do the backs of the hands, as one turns the arms outwards, without moving them away from the body. Likewise, they will be taught never to fix their eyes on the ground, but to look straight at those they pass; to remain motionless until the order is given, without moving the head, the head or the feet...lastly to march with a bold step, with the knee and ham taut, on the points of the feet, which should face outwards. Through such acts of repetition I will explore how the army is changed with the acquirement of model behaviour so that the solider can become a useful member of society. The use of a number of ‘reinforcers’ will be detailed in the paper to set up good and right behaviour and eradicate the poor and bad behaviour; in this way I seek to develop a theory of learning that concentrates on developing desirable behaviour:

I am concerned, then, with the causes of human behaviour. I want to know why men behave as they do. Any condition or event which can be shown to have an effect upon behaviour must be taken into account. By discovering and analyzing these causes I can predict behaviour; to the extent that I can manipulate and I can control behaviour.

Lord Burton attended the banquet with Miss Gwendolyn Fairfax. Although the earl mingled with the other gentlemen of the Royal Society in a friendly fashion, a more eventful occurrence happened when His Lordship departed from the banquet; and encountered an ambush prepared by footpads!

The bandits blocked the road with a wagon that impeded the progress of the earl’s carriage. Naturally, the driver under Lord Burton’s employ stopped the coach and six when he saw the obstacle. While His Lordship’s servants laboured to remove the wagon from the road, a pair of brigands intruded upon Lord Burton and Miss Fairfax.

Befitting the actions of a veteran of many campaigns, His Lordship fatally wounded one of the robbers with His Lordship’s pistol. Unfortunately for Lord Burton, the dying rogue’s partner discharged his pistol, which struck the earl’s left arm. Of course, His Lordship’s men returned to render assistance. However, the villain abandoned his fellow thief in order to escape pursuit. Concerned more with the health of their master, the servants quit the chase hurriedly travelled to the nearest surgeon who skillfully preserved the earl’s life!

On the other hand, Lord Nottingham regarded the tale with a sentiment of personal experience, as the Prime Minister also recently suffered at the hands of an infamous highway-woman. Moreover, His Lordship practised playing the role of a retired public servant remaining inconspicuous throughout the evening, even though the earl managed to circulate among the members of the Royal Society.

The Wedding of the Earl of Armagh and Miss Dorothea Chaplet

By Jane, Lady Tennyson

Among the first to attend this occasion, Sir Richard Attenborough gave Lord and Lady Armagh a tea service. Next, Lord Burton and Miss Fairfax came to offer congratulations, but soon departed due to the earl’s injured arm. Afterwards, Princess Charlotte and Lord Nottingham presented the newlyweds with a tea service and then immediately mingled among the other guests. Indeed, Princess Augusta Sophia also gave a similar gift to the Lord Armagh and Lady Dorothea.

With great interest, I noted that the Duke of Manhattan and Miss Fiona Apple’s wedding gift: a mahogany cabinet from the Chinese city of Su Chow. This novel oriental present amazed Lady Dorothea and she thanked the Chancellor of the Exchequer for His Grace’s gift. Unluckily for the Duke of Manhattan, I mentioned His Grace’s meeting with the Countess of Wrexham, which upset Miss Apple to the point where she only danced with the duke after much persuasion.

Predictably, Lord Admiral Thomas Renders Spendlove and Lady Charity arrived last, though the gift of silverware to Lord Armagh and Lady Dorothea, forgave the Earl and Countess of Shropshire for any infraction in decorum.

Doctor Simon Creed Hosts Halloween Party at Abbingdon Abbey for Fellow Physicians by Miss Bridget Jones

On the last night of this month, Doctor Simon Creed prepared Abbingdon Abbey for an unusual celebration. In accordance to the Irish custom of Halloween, the home of Lady Abbingdon and Dr Simon Creed transformed into an eerie abode full dark and mysterious creatures. The Countess of Abbingdon and Her Ladyship’s Consort dressed in antique costumes and mimicked the manners of the Ancient Greeks! In addition, Dr Creed arranged actors to perform Aristophanes’ “The Frogs”; where at the plays conclusion the Member of Parliament for Westminster commissioned the ignition of a many number of fireworks.

Ironically, after three entire weeks of wenching at various places of ill repute, Doctor Archibald Ernest Fotheringhay elected to act most civilly; an act that, if witnessed by Lady Jane Tennyson, would certainly cause Her Ladyship to faint from disbelief!

Apparently after a violent exchange regarding the subject of impropriety, Dr Bernard Benson-Curraders and Miss Jane Seymour allowed their names announced; though they acted appropriately, I sensed a lack of affection that stemmed from an incident, which I later learnt from Miss Dale Arden.

I am also glad to see that Sir Arthur Dent decided to interrupt his rather busy schedule to attend Dr Creed’s party. Lady Abbingdon seemed to approve of his arrival; for Sir Arthur rarely leaves his home other than to engage in some endeavour to improve his faculties in various disciplines: such oratory, dancing and equestrianism. Equally pleasing to the Countess of Abbingdon, Doctor Sebastien de Beauvoir appeared in public with Miss Vanessa Kensington, after spending another fortnight engrossed in medical studies.

Miss Clarissa Harlowe Accepts Suit of Sir Richard Attenborough, but Rejects Advances Made by the Duke of Manhattan

By Miss Dahlia Travers

A fortnight into the month of October, Sir Richard Attenborough presented himself before the entrance of Countess of Wrexham’s townhouse. Being a gentleman of an excellent reputation, Lady Clarissa suppressed her surprise and instructed her servants to admit the officer but kept her lady's maid close at hand.

Offering sweets, roses and reciting Johann Wolfgang von Goethe’s ‘Mayfest’, the countess dismissed her maid for the evening and the next day left orders the good officer was to be admitted anytime he wished to call. Her Ladyship has been quite gay since that time; one could almost suggest Her Ladyship is glowing with happiness. It appears the dashing officer; Sir Richard Attenborough is quite impressive in a different battlefield!

Unfortunately for the Countess of Wrexham, the Duke of Manhattan came the following week in order to undo Her Ladyship’s reputation. Well-versed in the intimacies of the Chancellor of the Exchequer’s amorous adventures, Her Ladyship refused to entertain the duke in private and begged His Grace address Her Ladyship on a more socially appropriate occasion.

Miss Agatha Christie Rejects Captain Jack Speedicut

By Lady Agatha Gregson

A brash young newcomer to London Society has determined to make his entrance to our fair city quite memorable indeed. He recently purchased a captain's commission in the Seventeenth Regiment of Light Dragoons, a fine regiment, though not the Life Guards by anyone's imagination; and presented himself at the doorstep of young Miss Agatha Christie.

Astonishing, such cheek to make such a call without a proper introduction! Why when I was a young girl a man who behaved in such a manner would receive a visit from the family's male relatives!

Fortunately Miss Christie did not admit him. However, she recommended that he improve his reputation if he ever hoped to win her hand. Myself, I would oblige the rascal with a taste of my cane, but the young ladies of this day and age are far more forgiving it seems!